Does the idea of being a submissive wife feel outdated or misunderstood? Many struggle with the concept, unsure of what it truly means in today’s world. In this blog, we’ll break down the biblical perspective on submission and explore how it fosters respect, partnership, and love in marriage.
You’ll uncover powerful truths that challenge stereotypes and practical steps to embrace submission without losing your voice or identity. Curious to see how this approach can transform your relationship? Read until the end—it might just change the way you see submission forever.
Authority is the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience.
Every person who rules or governs over someone or something has the Authority to do so. Governments rule over countries, employers rule over employees, Kings rule over people, masters rule over their slaves, and husbands rule over their wives.
In Ephesians 5:22-23 God laid down his Authority on how husbands and wives must live together in a marital home. Wives and husbands were given specific roles and responsibilities within the material home.
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now that the church submits to Christ, wives should also submit to their husbands in everything.
Now the husband also has a specific role to play in the marriage. So we know the wife’s role in the marriage is to submit to her husband and respect him.
However, the Husband’s role comes with a greater responsibility. And that responsibility is to lead his wife. Therefore, God made the husband the leader of his home, and how he leads his wife and home is crucial.
So, how do we know that husbands are supposed to lead their wives toward godliness? In Ephesians 5:25 you’ll see how Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy and clean. He washed her by the cleansing of God’s word. Christ did this to present her (church) to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Spot wrinkles or blemishes represent sin in one’s life. In the same way, husbands are supposed to love their wives as they love their bodies. And wash her with the word of God.
HOW ARE HUSBANDS SUPPOSED TO LEAD THEIR WIVES ACCORDING TO EPHESIANS 5:25?
Thus, Husbands are to lead their wives towards godly living, by loving their wives and washing them in the word of God so that they will be holy and without fault.
These are the husband’s roles and responsibilities within the marriage. His sole responsibility which God has given him for the marital home is to simply love his wife and help her live a God-fearing life.
The Lord creates order, reverence, and leadership for the home. Just as Christ is the head of the Church, husbands are the head of their homes.
The church represents the Bride of Christ. Therefore, it makes sense that God connected the Church and the marriage institution. He holds them equally to show us how much He loves his bride —— the church and wants us to imitate that same love and reverence towards marriage.
Bible verses related to the Bride of Christ. Revelation 21:9, Revelation 21:2, Revelation 19:7-9, Ephesians 5:25-27, 2 Corinthians 11:2
Now let’s look at how God laid the foundation for women in the marriage home. What does God want wives to focus on within the marriage institution? And as an individual woman if she claims to be a godly woman.
Wives’ Roles Within a Marriage
Wives’ Roles: Wives’ roles within the marriage are to Submit to and respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-33
Godly Characters of Wives: Godly women should pursue inner beauty. The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is so precious to God. She extends a helping hand to the poor, is industrious, speaks words of wisdom, takes care of her household, and fears the Lord.
Scripture Reference – 1 Peter 3:3-4 Proverbs 31:10-31
What does submission mean? And how should wives submit themselves to their husbands?
Everything that’s written in the Bible is inspired by God for reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness. Therefore, if we call ourselves disciples of Christ we can’t pick and choose things from the Bible to obey to benefit ourselves. We must fully obey God.
According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, submissiveness means Obedience. Oxford Dictionary also defines submissive as being ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly, obedient or passive– a submissive, almost sheep-like person.
Wives should submit and respect their husbands not out of fear but of love for Christ. When we do things out of love we obey the Lord’s commands.
In John 15:10 Jesus said, “When you obey my commandments, you remain in his love.” In other words, we show God we love him by obeying His commandments.
We must not be conformed to the world’s ideology of what submission is. God wants us to renew our minds, and how do we renew our minds? We renew our minds by consistently reading God’s word.
Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing your thoughts. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good, pleasing and perfect.”
Our ultimate goal in life as followers of Christ is to please God, when we know the will of God for our lives we can align our lives with his word; thus putting us in the right standing with God.
For God to work in our lives, we must surrender and let go of what’s hindering us from truly pleasing God. We have to give God something to work with or make space or room for him in our hearts to do his work in us.
When God sees that we are willing to obey or surrender, He will begin his work in our lives. He will begin to reveal things that you need to let go of. How do I know? Because I’m talking from experience. I’ve seen God move in my life, all because I made up my mind to surrender some things in my life that were hindering me from having true fellowship with Christ.
As you become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, he will begin to guide you in all truth. He will teach you the truth about Godly living and how to please him in all areas of your life.
2 Peter 1:3 God has given us everything we need for a Godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his glory and goodness.
Embracing submission without losing your voice or identity involves striking a balance between humility, mutual respect, and self-awareness. Here are practical steps to help you navigate this:
1. Understand Submission Biblically
Ĺĺ2. Prioritize Your Relationship with God
Study scripture to understand God’s design for submission, focusing on mutual respect and love (e.g., Ephesians 5:21-33). Recognize that submission doesn’t mean silence or inferiority but a willingness to align with God’s purpose.
Spend time in prayer and Bible study to seek God’s guidance and develop a heart of humility. Ask God for wisdom to maintain your identity while honoring others.
3. Communicate Openly and Respectfully
Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with your spouse, family, or others in a respectful manner. Use “I” statements to express your perspective without being confrontational.
4. Define Boundaries
Understand where submission begins and ends. It should never lead to compromising your values, safety, or well-being. Communicate your boundaries clearly, ensuring they align with God’s Word and your values.
5. Cultivate a Servant’s Heart
Practice serving others with love and humility, following Christ’s example (Mark 10:45). Look for ways to support and uplift others while maintaining your sense of purpose.
6. Recognize Your Value and Voice
Know that your opinions and contributions matter. Seek opportunities to share your gifts and talents in ways that honor God and bless others.
7. Seek Support and Mentorship
Connect with godly mentors or join women’s groups that promote spiritual growth and mutual encouragement. Learn from others who embody submission with strength and grace.
8. Practice Self-Care and Personal Growth
Invest in your spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being to remain strong and confident. Pursue activities that align with your passions and identity.
9. Trust the Process
Understand that submission is a journey of growth and sanctification. Be patient with yourself as you learn and adapt.
10. Celebrate Progress
Acknowledge moments when you successfully balance submission with maintaining your voice. Give thanks to God for the wisdom and strength He provides.
By embracing these steps, you can honor God’s call to submission while preserving your identity and using your voice to glorify Him.
In conclusion, a wife must submit ( obey) her husband as it is fitting to the Lord. Not out of fear, but rather out of love for God. Remember perfect love casts out all fear because fear has to do with torment. 1 John 4:18
God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7